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From JOE MATHLETE'S GREAT AMERICAN BLOG:

An Amusing True Story About This One Time I Tried To Prevent Date Rape
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

If you are into Twitter I have one of those now
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

Hi there Houston: I will be at the Art Car Parade Saturday drawing stuff for free
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

What you have been missing if you haven't been looking at 29-95.com
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

29-95.com - Joe Mathlete returns to the internet! Like, every damn day!
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

Dating is Hard
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

The Mathletes - Linger (Cranberries cover)
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

Hustler Presents Great Works of English Literature
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

God Dammit
by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete)

Fully buzzword compliant.

Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card (See site here)

"Totally not accepting orders for at least the next few weeks, on account of things"

   Page 1 of 2 >>

"Nick and Elly sit at a Jandek concert, pondering his genius"

Posted 2008-11-19 18:03:00 by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete) at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


True story: my friend Jimmy was introduced to Jandek at a bar a couple of years ago, not too terribly long after he revealed himself to be a flesh and blood human and began playing live (mostly at festivals in Scotland for some reason). According to Jimmy, Jandek was soft-spoken and very polite, and at one point mentioned that he "didn't get out much."

Sometimes it is very cool to live in Houston.

"Where's Waldo? In 'Hell" by Hieronymous Bosch"

Posted 2008-11-03 01:11:00 by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete) at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card



If I had more than 3"x5" to work with (and, y'know, was a better artist), this would be the funniest thing I've ever drawn. Promise.

Art History majors, close your eyes and imagine what this should look like. Everybody else, Google Hieronymous Bosch.

"Joe Mathlete Takes a Year to Draw An Index Card"

Posted 2008-10-28 05:19:00 by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete) at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card



"Whoops!"

So this wasn't requested by anyone, but I did, indeed, take damn near a year to draw several of the index cards people ordered. This was due more to what I mentioned in the previous post than to Dark Shadows marathons, but thanks to some helpful correspondence I'm pretty much back on the horse (ATTN: Gloria B-- email me that Paypal receipt!).

Check back in over the next couple days as I continue to play catchup. After that... surprising surprises? For serious!

And... I think that's it

Posted 2008-07-01 20:08:00 by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete) at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card

To the best of my knowledge, I'm pretty sure I've caught up with all pending index card orders. The mountain of disorganization that is my inbox, combined with the fact that I've moved seven (seven!) times since 2006, could prove otherwise, but as far as I can tell I am square.

As of last week I'd stuck all the unshipped cards in the mailbox and sent them on their merry way. If you have been (so very patiently) waiting for an index card for awhile and it hasn't arrived by Monday, email me (themathletes AAATTT yahoo DDDOOOTTT com) and let's figure out what happened.

Future plans: Hmm...

"Joe Mathlete being my boyfriend"

Posted 2008-05-15 23:12:00 by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete) at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


Yikes!

"A polar bear beating Bill's ass while Payne eats a popsicle"

Posted 2008-05-13 04:46:00 by noreply@blogger.com (Joe Mathlete) at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


Man, Payne's a jerk.

"Patrick Swayze Riding a Unicorn with Sam Elliot (Moustached Sam Elliot)"

Posted 2008-05-06 22:58:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


The following are among the things I cannot draw:

1. Celebrities
2. Unicorns (or any kind of horse-like being)

The following are among the things I kick ass at drawing:

1. Magical rainbows

"a Oaxacan cockfight"

Posted 2008-05-02 20:53:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


Use your imagination. I have no idea what's going on in that censor'd bubble, but I do know it's horrifying.

"George the bad cat being very bad"

Posted 2008-05-01 20:01:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


George's mischievousness aside, it's pretty irresponsible to keep all your eggs (Homeland Security files and AIDS cures) in one basket/gigantic open cardboard box.

Good news, art patrons!

Posted 2008-05-01 19:52:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card

This blog is totally not dead anymore. It's still probably near-dead, compared to a lot of things on the internet, but it's a start.

I will begin slowly uploading the final batch of cards in my "to do queue," some of which have been kicking around since last Autumn. Beyond that, after an unbelievably terrifying period where I thought I had lost everything, I have recovered all of the cards I have yet to ship out (in a little box in my friend's storage closet. Here's a tip for those of you who move a lot, or ever: get your shit together better than me).

I thank you all tremendously for your patience (yet again), even those of you who asked for refunds during my long months in the wilderness of not updating. Frankly it's kind of ridiculous it takes me so long to do this stuff, but hey: good artist, shitty capitalist, huh?

Beats,

Joe Mathlete

"Chuckmo the Octopus Releases his First Record"

Posted 2007-12-11 01:10:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


You should ALWAYS read a contract before you sign it, or else you might have to go on Carson Daly's show.

"ROAD TRIP: Erin and Colleen eat a lot of shampoo"

Posted 2007-12-05 09:17:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


Kind of like a Hunter S. Thompson novel, only retarded.

"A clownfish, a butterflyfish and a bullshark sharing pizza"

Posted 2007-11-18 22:03:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


It wasn't easy getting Papa John's to deliver to the ocean.

"Jefferson gets a dinosaur pen pal"

Posted 2007-11-16 07:11:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


How does he see what he's writing?

I fully acknowledge the irony that I ended the last post with "I'll be here all week"

Posted 2007-11-01 21:59:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card

And now it's a month later. Anyway, I've got an update for you.

Due to circumstances more or less within my control, I am not accepting any more index card orders for the time being. Due to circumstances sort of but not really within my control, I have had to take some time off from the drawing racket. I have a good deal of cards in my queue, and I will most likely be working on those for the remainder of the year.

However!

I will begin semi-regular updates as two weeks from now, as I work through the backlog I've accumulated. Once I'm more or less caught up, I will resume orders and things will continue as normal. I am also considering adding a crayon-free black and white option, which would be a bit cheaper than the standard choice.

Those of you who have yet to receive cards I've posted, I apologize for the delay in shipping. Be assured that I fully intend to fulfill my originally stated promise to fill all orders within five months, but no longer stand by my claim that "it'll probably be more like one or two months."

Thanks to everyone who has participated in and enjoyed, or at least not hated, this here little project of mine.

Beats,

Joe Mathlete

"Osama Bin Loiterin'"

Posted 2007-10-03 07:38:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


This scenario is highly implausible, of course... It assumes that the U.S. military is actually trying to find Bin Laden in the first place. (pause for laughter, applause)

Thank you, ladies and germs, I'll be here all week.

"simpatico soul sisters trolling for men"

Posted 2007-10-02 03:34:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


Oh, I kill me.

"Joe Mathlete's dad is my boss"

Posted 2007-10-01 03:04:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


I come from a long line of piglet bathers.

"Cat Scratch Fervor"

Posted 2007-09-20 07:23:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

"Dennis Kucinich can too be president"

Posted 2007-09-17 22:19:00 by Joe Mathlete at Joe Mathlete Will Draw Anything You Ask Him To On An Index Card


He was this close to just having his wife run in his place.