A blog from Blazehedgheog at 1Up.com. Get your own blog by visiting http://www.1up.com.

Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2007-07-08 10:49:20 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Can you believe this? James Mielke, a current 1up.com Staff Member and a former writer for EGM, actually edited a post I made on his blog to make me look bad. The short version of this goes like this:

Him: Hey, Metroid Prime 3 sucks because it doesn't have online multiplayer or co-op. GRR!
Me: Wait, what? Metroid doesn't need multiplayer, it goes against the hallmarks of the series. Besides, MP2's multiplayer was awful and Hunters on the DS wasn't much better.
Him: I am hate people like you who don't want to see thier favorite series changed because it would "spoil it's purity".
Me: What the hell are you even talking about? Saying a Metroid game needs co-op is like saying Sonic the Hedgehog needs to slow down. Don't be silly.
Him: Oh no! I upset a Nintendosaur! I'll just ignore his reasoning and call him a retard.
His Fans: Yeah, you tell'em, Mielke!
Me: You can't be serious. Man, it must be nice to have groupies. Look, let me explain my reasoning again, but this time in more detail.
* Mielke edits the above post to read something completely different.
* Blaze expected Mielke to do something to the post (namely, delete it) and backed up his response as a result, and simply copies and pastes it back in with an extra message questioning if this is the sort of professional image Mielke wants to project.

The long version, for those of you who want to know everything in explicit detail (and also so I have a back-up copy of the entire event as it appeared in the blog):

Mielke, on his Blog, wrote:

That said, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption not having any online play is just retarded. No matter what a company does right, there's always something wrong with what's going on, and the Wii's online functionality currently extends to downloading a fancy news browser (and weather reports!) and quick downloads of old-ass games. I like old-ass games, but I also like online gaming, and Nintendo's even further behind the curve (by like, a lot) than Sony is. For now, your only real online gaming option on the Wii is Pokemon Battle Revolution and, well, that's just meh. Well, anyway, that's all for now.

And so, it began. I'll agree that Nintendo is totally behind the curve in terms of online interfaces and the like; but on Metroid needing an online mode?

My first response to Mielke's Blog:

You know what's sad? The fact that people like you have to automatically assume that a game like Metroid Prime HAS to have online multiplayer just because it's from the first person perspective and you shoot stuff. Do you really want a repeat of Metroid Prime 2? That had awful multiplayer. And Hunters? Hunters is an unbalanced joke.

There are approximately four hundred BAZILLION other online first person shooters on the market - go play those instead. Don't ruin Metroid just because you want Quake 3 Arena with a Samus skin.

Which brings up another point: WHY would you want Metroid Multiplayer? What would make it so unique? Unless you have an idea of how you'd WANT it to play, then you're simply asking for multiplayer just for the sake OF multiplayer, which is about the most worthless addition ever.

And it's not as though I am some crazy Metroid fanboy shaking his finger at you because you're saying this or that. The only Metroid games I own are Prime 1 and Prime 2, and I never finished Prime 2 because I just didn't like it. But at the same time I recognize the fact that this is a game that does not, in any way shape or form, need online multiplayer or co-op or anything. That's not the Metroid Franchise's style. And if you don't understand that, then maybe Metroid games just aren't for you, man.

Metroid games are about the feeling of being alone on a hostile alien planet. Nobody to help you, nobody anywhere at all but space pirates and the hostile fauna that want to kill you. It's not about getting headshots or leaderboards or any of that stuff. Go play Unreal Tournament 3 if you want that stuff. There are so many other options from so many other games where multiplayer MAKES SENSE that I can't even believe you'd say something like this. Why get lost in the fray as just another game with tacked-on multiplayer when there are so many alternatives that would be better suited to that style of gameplay?

Give me a break, Mielke

Pretty harmless, I'd say. Mielke wasted no time in showing us just how big of a toolbox he was:

In response, Mielke wrote:

I didn't say 'king of the hill versus mode,' introverts. Could be co-op, could be anything really. Any sort of online functionality would be nice, as it would be indicative that Nintendo is taking the Internet a little more seriously than they currently are. Give me a break and learn how to read.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people who can't stand to see any change or innovation in their game of choice. "It must always stay this way!" That's the Dragon Quest syndrome right there, and is one of the reasons why game sales are declining in Japan. The number of things Nintendo could do to add connectivity features in Metroid are endless, and yet you guys think 'online' automatically equates with 'deathmatch.' If MP3 had, say -- to make things simple for the easily-prone-to-weep-at-change -- a cooperative mode a la Gears of War (pretend for a minute that Samus meets another person in the universe that doesn't want to shoot her) that was completely optional, are you going to bitch because the feature is in there, even though you don't ever have to touch it if you don't want to? I'm sure many of you would. Fucks up the 'purity' of the experience, right? That's just sad.

If I didn't know better, I'd say James Mielke sounded like an Internet Troll! Even so, I decided to let this response sit. It's not as though I sat there fingers poised to burn him in return for his flamebait. More than a dozen responses from other users later, I decided to try and clarify my point.

Responding to Mielke's response, I wrote:

I'm not against games changing or adding new elements; but at one point do you change things so drastically that it stops being the game you fell in love with? Every series has it's hallmarks that the franchise was built on.

Remove or change those and it stops being "Metroid" or "Halo" or "Mario" (that is, unless you claim it's a spin-off - Halo Wars, Mario Golf, Metroid Pinball, etc.). Metroid is about a certain style of gameplay, a feeling it evokes as you stalk the abandoned space stations and desolate planets, alone.

That feeling is at the very core of the franchise and has been since the first game on the NES. Without that feeling the game simply fails as a Metroid game. Saying they should try co-op or multiplayer (or really, just about anything involving going online) in a Metroid title is like saying Sonic the Hedgehog should slow down, or the next Mario game should be more realistic.

When you come in to a franchise like this, there are hallmarks you expect. Sonic goes fast. Mario isn't concerned with realism, it's about fun. Metroid has tried online components previously because of people like you demanding features just for the sake of them being there, even if they don't fit, and as a result those features have been failures, because they abandoned the hallmarks of the franchise.

It's like looking at board and pointing at a round hole, declaring "There needs to be a square peg here because other boards have square pegs in this location and I would like to see a square peg here, too."

Like I said, if that's what you truly want - maybe Metroid just isn't the franchise for you, because it's obvious the game's core themes don't appeal to you in the way they were designed to.

In the interim, I responded to a few other people in Mielke's blog, making conversation.

Some guy named "LedZeppelin":

once a game has online play its expected that the iterations after that would have online. Metroid had online even on the DS, so one would assume that if a game on a hand held as underpowered (compared to its competitor) as the DS, you could easily do it on the Wii. its almost comparable to if Halo 3 didn't have online. you expect games that have had online (and from what i hear good online) to have online again. i respect making single player good, but when you have an online system that works perfectly well on the DS, why cant you duplicate it on the Wii? i understand that companies like insomniac are doing the same thing but they are releasing a game a year after their last one launched, and on a system thats much harder to code for and they aren't first party. Nintendo on the other hand has (comparably a MUCH easier console to develop for) and has delayed it twice (i think its twice anyway) and STILL have no online?

My response:

Didn't you play the multiplayer in MP2:Echoes? I have. It was awful. The maps were too small, there weren't enough weapons (and what weapons were there were stupid in multiplayer context). It was the most bare-bones, boring, uninspired multiplayer mode you could ever come up with.

Hunters TRIED to improve on that and it was still a failure. Playing offline was boring as hell and playing ONLINE just meant everybody picked the same character - the one with the sniper rifle - because he was so blindingly overpowered.

It just doesn't warrent the work fitting Metroid's square peg in to Online Multiplayer's round hole.

Overall, not terribly scathing. Infact, and although I may be biased, I'd say I was fairly level headed about my responses. Mielke wasn't.

Responding to my response to his response, Mielke wrote:

The whole 'keep your modern shit out of my precious game' attitude is fuckin' whack. You make it out like it's some crime to add something new to Metroid, and if Nintendo did, that it would suddenly not be Metroid any more. I'm gonna be 37 years old in a week, and I've been playing this shit since day 1, and I could give a fuck if Nintendo added something new in addition to the already-existing probably awesome single-player game. Now if you took something like Electroplankton and tried to make an action-platformer with stealth elements and voice-chat, I could see how you might say "OK, that doesn't really feel like Electroplankton."

But Nintendo put Metroid in a first-person mode, which in itself was a revolutionary idea. The argument could be said that if you want to play a Halo game, play Halo. Well, motherfuckers, it could easily be said that if you want to play a Metroid game, play Metroid II, not Metroid Prime. BUT, Retro did such an amazing job taking Samus' unique and idiosyncratic moves and implementing them near-flawlessly into 3D...and now you're all "STOP RIGHT THERE, DO NOT PASS GO, BRING NO OTHER PERSONS INTO THE EXPERIENCE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH." Talk about a lack of perspective. "WE MUST REMAIN ALONE IN OUR FIGHT. FOREVERZ!" I'm really glad Nintendo fans aren't the ones designing Nintendo games, that much is for certain.

And for the record, stop holding a torch for Kid Icarus. That game fucking sucks. But, at least this blog hasn't inspired uninfomed rants about how E3 is totally the most awesomest thing on Earth, or how I'm teh anti-PS3 biased cuz I don't like having to individually download dozens of DLC add-ons for my games.

Wait, you mean other blog posts of Mielke's have degenerated in to flamewars? Given his attitude here, I can't imagine why! The worst part is people actually back Mielke up.

OhioSurferDude wrote:

I totally agree with you about Nintendo. Why is it that they get a "free pass" when it comes to online gaming? This is the freakin' year 2007 and they STILL don't have a freakin' clue or a plan when it comes to online gameplay. Why? Why is it that the press doesn't just hammer them about this? Instead, they suck up to them and drool at their feet over a gimmicky mini-game player. Unreal.

Well, fine. I'll just respond to Mielke and this other dude.

My response to Mielke's response of... jeeze, you get the point:

"The whole 'keep your modern shit out of my precious game' attitude is fuckin' whack. You make it out like it's some crime to add something new to Metroid, and if Nintendo did, that it would suddenly not be Metroid any more."

So, what, are you basically just trolling now? Are you misunderstanding on purpose? Because that's seriously the vibe I'm getting from your responses. "U GUYZ R DUMB BECAUSE I AM TEH MILK MAN, AND MY WERD AM LAW. WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR ARGUMENT? REASONING? I'LL IGNORE THAT AND TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE FUN OF YOU INSTEAD, BECAUSE IN THE DOMAIN OF 1UP.COM, I AM KING." It must be great to have a band of groupies that will agree with you no matter what you say.

I mean, shit, are you serious? MODERN? You HONESTLY sound like you wish EVERY game had an online mode in it regardless of quality. Yeah, great, they could "add-on" multiplayer to the already great singleplayer, but guess what, oh wise Mielke? It pretty much never happens that way.

Surely being in the gaming journalism industry as long as you have, you've no doubt encountered your fair share of games where:

A) Singleplayer gets the bulk of the focus and receives a worthless, non-descript multiplayer mode that was more of an afterthought than anything. (Hello, Half-Life and Half-Life 2)

B) Multiplayer gets the bulk of the focus and recieves a worthless, non-descript singleplayer mode that is there simply as a training mode for multiplayer. (Unreal Tournament, Shadowrun, Quake)

And, hey, guess where Metroid Prime 2 Echoes fell? Could it be maybe Column A? Ding ding ding, I think we have a wiener. If they've honestly spent this long working on Metroid Prime 3, on JUST THE SINGLEPLAYER, and companies like Epic and iD software spend nearly as long tweaking and balancing MULTIPLAYER, would you really, HONESTLY see Metroid Prime 3 get delayed another 9-18 months just so you could headshot a green Samus in a map that looks like it was a holdover from Quake 3?

You wanna know why Nintendo gets a free pass? Becuse they DON'T, that's why. For how many years did everybody whine and complain because games like Mario Kart Double Dash lacked a true online mode? And guess what? Nintendo finally caved in! The biggest franchise they had that BEGGED for an online mode GOT IT. Surely, the interface for it sucks - you have to deal with friend codes, limited options, and only 75% of the courses in the game, but Mario Kart DS DID bother with online and it was pretty much the first game I bought when I got my DS Lite. We've got Mario Strikers Charged, which some people are declaring possibly the best Wii game EVER, and that supposedly has crazy good online implementation compared to most Nintendo games.

But Metroid? Metroid's TRIED multiplayer, both online and off, and it was a disaster. It's oil and water. But no, you've got some guy struttin' his stuff on his internet blog like he's Captain Vidya-game and knows in his heart that a franchise he obviously doesn't "get" needs to jump off a cliff because all his best friends in the genre are jumping off the cliff, too.

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

Yeah okay, maybe I could've been more dignified. But the problem with stupid people is they drag you down to their level and they beat you with experience. Especially when you consider that, directly after I posted this, Mielke actually edited my post to read a completely different message altogether. This is perhaps the most unprofessional thing I've seen in gaming journalism and only highlights my growing distaste for almost all Ziff Davis media. "Hey kids, we're assholes! That means you, the 14-17 market, identifies with us! Damn the man! Dawg!" About the only thing to come out of them that's even remotely tolerable is Games for Windows Magazine, because the staff there actually seems to have tact and intelligence about writing game journalism.

It's worth mentioning that I don't even own a Wii; as I've mentioned in the past, I had an opportunity to buy a Wii and instead opted to get an Xbox 360 Premium and a Nintendo DS Lite with my EB Games prize money. And this doesn't even touch upon the stupid things Mielke has said recently outside of his blog - such as, in an article previewing StarCraft 2, claiming only Korean School Children play StarCraft - then a page later extolling the virtues of the professional gamer scene in Korea, where adults play in nationally televised tournaments and even have groupies of korean girls. Or, in his review for Vampire Rain, making a borderline racist comment about... well, I'll let the comment speak for itself:

James Mielke's Vampire Rain Review

Supposing you've maintained consciousness, it's then possible that you'll witness one of the many poorly voiced cut-scenes that highlight the general Japanese development community's inability to realistically animate anything (...)

Now, I'm not saying Vampire Rain is a good game; I was kind of skeptical of the demo - it certainly had sort of a weird budget feeling to it, but, I mean, really; of all the other ways he could've phrased that to NOT sound like an ass, he had to pick that one? I've heard from my friends that this guy used to be pretty respected when he was on the EGM staff. I guess this just goes to show you how far the mighty can fall.

Edit (July 18th): A guy I know read this blog and pointed me to an article over at The Escapist on videogame reviews, journalists, and their relationships with developers. They talk to one guy, who wished to remain anonymous - so for the purpose of the article, they called him "Arthur".

Last year, Arthur received an assignment from a prominent editor for a prominent gaming publication to review a prominent game by a prominent developer for a prominent console. The review was scheduled to run alongside "exclusive features" offered to said editor by said developer. Merely because they were friends.

"This person actually makes no qualms over his relationship with the developer," says Arthur. "He takes trips out to Japan and visits him while he's there. He blogs all the time about being his best bud. [He] always seems to get exclusives out of them. It's blatantly obvious, and he never makes any [bones] about it. He is [the developer's] homeboy."

Unfortunately, Arthur didn't think the game was very good, so he gave it a low score and called it a day. Simple, but not.

"This is where it gets crazy," Arthur says. "[The editor] sees this review and flips out. He calls [a] meeting. ... He sits [the editorial staff] down at a table and says that this review is bullshit. ... He demands that the score be raised."

Although the rest of the team vouched for Arthur's review score, the editor in question, concerned the low score would jeopardize his relationship with the game's developer, refused to publish the review without an incremental increase in the score.

Arthur agreed to raise his review score, but even with the requested changes, the finished review painted a less than flattering picture of what was to be the site's featured game.

"[The editor] got on the phone, and he called the publisher and apologized," Arthur says. "Then, he called the developer himself ... and apologized to him."

I've been told that the editor in question - the one who demanded the review score be raised - is actually none other than James Mielke. A quick glance to Mielke's blog reveals him getting very buddy-buddy with folks like Tetsuya Miziguchi - in a less than journalistic sense. I'm not going to say with 100% certainty that the Escapist article is talking about Mielke, as I'm sure a lot of gaming journalists probably get TOO Buddy-buddy with developers (the article even suggests that publishers purposely set up areas in Expos like E3 where Journalists and Developers are supposed to make friends with one another just so journalists have a hard time giving bad scores to developers they are friends with), but, well, there is evidence to suggest it may have been him.

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Found in: Diaries, Platformers community

Posted 2007-07-08 06:49:20 by BlazeHedgehog at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Can you believe this? James Mielke, a current 1up.com Staff Member and a former writer for EGM, actually edited a post I made on his blog to make me look bad. The short version of this goes like this:

Him: Hey, Metroid Prime 3 sucks because it doesn't have online multiplayer or co-op. GRR!
Me: Wait, what? Metroid doesn't need multiplayer, it goes against the hallmarks of the series. Besides, MP2's multiplayer was awful and Hunters on the DS wasn't much better.
Him: I am hate people like you who don't want to see thier favorite series changed because it would "spoil it's purity".
Me: What the hell are you even talking about? Saying a Metroid game needs co-op is like saying Sonic the Hedgehog needs to slow down. Don't be silly.
Him: Oh no! I upset a Nintendosaur! I'll just ignore his reasoning and call him a retard.
His Fans: Yeah, you tell'em, Mielke!
Me: You can't be serious. Man, it must be nice to have groupies. Look, let me explain my reasoning again, but this time in more detail.
* Mielke edits the above post to read something completely different.
* Blaze expected Mielke to do something to the post...

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Found in: Diaries, Platformers community

Posted 2007-06-21 08:23:08 by BlazeHedgehog at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Not been in much of a blogging mood. I dunno. Not like I have any shortage of things to talk about. Blogging right before I go to bed is usually a bad idea, because generally that's when I say things I regret, but hey, whatever.

So, uh. I just got through some nasty computer problems. A virus, or hell, I don't even know what, really. A couple of suspicious files were found in C:\ drive once, files that I did not put there nor could've piggy-backed off of anything I installed recently. I am remarkably careful with what I download and install, always running virus scans on them. I ended up having to re-install Windows from our crappy OEM restore disc, which meant wiping all of C:\ instead of, y'know, just re-installing Windows itself. So I had to do a lot of rebuilding on that front; which unfortunately means getting versions of programs I don't like. It pisses me off when a certain program will completely change it's layout and functions, because you get to things being a certain way - icons arranged in a certain pattern, keyboard shortcuts being the way they are, etc. Such is the case with the program I use to edit sound files - Goldwave. The version I got after reformatting has a completely different visual design; with different button styles, different icons, different functions... it's almost like it's not even the same program anymore. The "improvements" are going to take a lot of getting used to, as well. They tried to streamline certain parts...

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Found in: Diaries, Platformers community

Posted 2007-06-07 02:43:12 by BlazeHedgehog at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Last night, I sat, half awake, as the clock rolled over to 3am Mountain Standard. That's the time when Microsoft usually posts new demos on Xbox Live. Last night in particular was supposed to be the night the demo for Shadowrun was supposed to go up. Unfortunately, it seems Shadowrun has been bumped to tonight, so I shut my Xbox off and went to bed. A new Xbox Live Arcade game, Pacman Championship Edition had gone up, but it wasn't that important to me (having played it today, I can say that it is infact much, much, much more fun than vanilla Pacman).

What I didn't know, however, is that the Japanese Xbox Live Marketplace had been updated. A demo had been posted for the odd title called Vampire Rain. For those of you who don't know what Vampire Rain is, it's a stealth action game like Splinter Cell, but with a twist - there are no terrorists in this world. Instead, you find yourself sneaking past Vampires (called "Night Walkers" here) that roam the eternally rain-drenched streets; and with good reason: These Vampires are extremely dangerous. Vampires are much, much faster and much, much more agile than you are. If a Vampire should see you, it can quickly and easily get to you - it'll zip across a street in the blink of an eye; jump 100ft into the air to catch you on a rooftop, and when it gets close to you - all it takes is a couple slashes from it's long claws and you're dead. Once a Vampire has spotted you and begun chasing you...

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Found in: Diaries, Platformers community

Posted 2007-05-03 16:51:30 by BlazeHedgehog at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Good lord! Two blogs in one day. Isn't this amazing?

So, for quite a while now, Halo 3 videos have begun appearing on the internet. "Leaked" Halo 3 videos. Since Halo 3 was announced, five - maybe six videos total have been "leaked", with three new videos coming just yesterday.

And I'd just like to say that they aren't fooling anybody. The first thought that entered my mind the minute the first "leaked" video was posted was: How? How did some pleb on youtube get a copy of beta Halo 3, and why isn't he - like any red blooded hacker out there - sharing it with the rest of the internet by now? For all the tight security surrounding Halo 3 and it's contents, it seems almost impossible for any outsider to covertly secure themselves a free copy of Halo 3. Furthermore, only a fool would even attempt to play the Halo 3 Beta online over Xbox Live (as the people in the leaked video always seem to be doing) - you might as well be sending Bungie a personalized invitation to seize your Xbox 360 and set it on fire.

So who's posting these videos; Who's leaking the footage? Well, who else could it be?

It's Bungie.

Maybe not directly. I'm not suggesting Franky or Marty gets online and posts some video to Youtube, but this, ladies and gentlemen, is the latest

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Found in: Diaries, Platformers community

Posted 2007-05-03 03:16:59 by BlazeHedgehog at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

I think being on a Podcast has taken it's toll on me and now I dispense my opinions there rather than on a blog. Let's change that. Here's subjects I had wanted to write full-length blogs on, but instead, you get Bloglets(tm).

Movies
Saw Pirates of the Carribean 2. That was a horrible ending. More on horrible endings in a minute. That said, I enjoyed PoTC2 more than the first movie, though I should watch the first movie again before I say that. I hated the first movie, you see, but it's possible that over time I have softened my opinion to it. Sometimes, some movies are just better the second time around. The Mummy with Brendan Fraiser was like that.

I think my Xbox 360 is dying again
Thanks a lot, Microsoft. The disc drive has trouble opening and sometimes I get really weird texture errors. It seems to correct itself if I lay it on it's side rather than have it standing upright, though. I should call Microsoft but I fear there's not enough wrong with it for them to send me a new system and they'll just give me a work-around (much like the one I am using).

I beat Halo 2
As one of ten people on planet earth who play Halo 2 for the singleplayer, I can say that was one of the worst endings to any videogame ever. It wasn't even really an ending. It was just "That was a pretty good Arbiter level! I can't wait to play as Master Chief next! I wonder what the level's going to b- WHY ARE THE...

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Found in: Diaries, Life, Platformers community

Posted 2007-02-17 19:04:50 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

So I've been enjoying my Xbox 360 again. I spent all day downloading the Crackdown demo, and just as I was starting to get into it... the phone rings. Microsoft was calling me! They wanted to make sure the new unit they sent me was working well, and it is.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"
"Welllllllll..." I dragged. "I hate to sound selfish, but, uh. You know, you guys took two months to get this back to me. Is there any way I could maybe get... some compensation?"

I felt like such a slug. The way I was raised, you never take hand-outs or even gifts; anybody who has ever bought me a christmas or birthday present knows that, unless I can afford to pay them back - and usually I can't - I tell them I do not want gifts; granted, I usually end up accepting them anyway, usually by force, but it makes me feel so terrible, like I'm a bad person for taking it. It took a lot of willpower to ask the Microsoft phone guy that, but I knew that if I bailed, I would regret it.

"That's not selfish at all! Sure, just let me get the serial number of the new unit we sent you so I can confirm that you own it. Once we do that, I will get in touch with somebody who can set that up for you, alright? But, I will tell you now: We only have two games to choose from."

During the hold music, I wondered what the games would be. I joked to my friends: Probably Kameo and PGR3. I mean...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2007-02-16 12:20:31 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Today, I decided to stay up for a bit. I was getting rather annoyed at going to bed at 6am only having to set my alarm for 1pm to make sure I was awake in case Microsoft called me up again about the status of my console.

I decided that, to fill this void, I would finally - after seeing the AnimeTV preview of it - cave in and watch Haruhi, subbed. Near the end of episode 3... there was a knock on the door. Normally I ignore these as most of the time they aren't important, and if they are important, generally they leave a notice or something attached to our door.

My Mother, who was home sick today, suddenly flung her bedroom door open and shouted at me. "Ryan! Answer it! It's UPS!"

So, in my dirty old pajamas, with toothpaste stains around the collar, I answered the door. There stood a man holding a big, white box. He greeted me.

"Are you..." (he glances at the box) "Ryan Bloom?"
"I am!"
"Sign here please."

He hands me a digital signature doo-hicky. I hate these things. You always have to press REALLY hard for the touch screen to register. The R comes out fine, by the Y gets mangled. I manage to scrawl out the rest of my name.



This is really heavy. I wonder what it is? I notice the return address.

REPAIR CENTER
MCALLEN...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2007-02-14 20:51:11 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Those crazy hackers over at Sonic-Cult have managed to dump the text from the Xbox 360 version of Sonic the Hedgehog and have uncovered a very large list of content that will likely be provided as future DLC (Downloadable Content). This includes:

- Two-part Music packages for every major Sonic game released (unlocked via a "song of the week" sort of deal, it seems)
- In addition to the already-released "Very Hard Mode", a "Super Hard Mode".
- Extra "episodes" (storylines) for Tails, Knuckles, Amy Rose, Blaze the Cat, Rouge the Bat and E-123 Omega
- The ability to play as Metal Sonic, with his own "episode"
- Even more additional missions for Sonic, Shadow, Silver, Tails, Knuckles, Amy Rose, Blaze the Cat, Rouge the Bat, E-123 Omega and Metal Sonic

Also included are lists for Icon packs, and the topic even has some texture rips - meaning this information is, indeed, ripped from the game itself.

It's so depressing this game was shoved out the door before it was finished. A lot of this DLC would be exciting if the game's controls weren't a complete piss-take. Well, really, it's more than the controls. I mean, the game is such an unfinished, untested disaster, the game's manual mentions stuff that was never implemented in the game. ...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2007-02-08 19:44:56 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

So my Xbox 360 VGA cable arrived in the mail today. The reason I wasn't really pressing getting my 360 back is because the TV back here is on the verge of burning out and the TV in the living room is dead - we only have one actual color TV that still works in the entire house and it's like, 13 inches.

With my VGA cable here, I decided: Hey. It's about time I got my 360 back. So I phone up Microsoft tech support. Get this:

They don't know where my Xbox is.

The stars aligned and a cascading succession of failure lead me to this spot. For starters? When I called Microsoft Tech Support on December 8th, their database was having trouble. The lady at the support center had to enter my contact information 3 different times because their database was on the fritz. Come to find out? My Xbox was registered without a serial number attached to it. A phantom 360, if you will.

So that's problem number one. Problem number two comes when they asked me to give them a tracking number via phone and I forgot. Hey - it's Christmas, you know? I put it away in my little metal case I keep my change and my receipts and that was it.

Strike number three came when I let this go past 30 days. Hell, it's been past 60 days. And that was bad, I guess.

So after putting me on hold, getting my serial, putting me on hold, getting my documentation number, putting me on hold - getting my USPS tracking number - putting me on ...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2007-01-01 14:44:01 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Continuing the trend of me posting the dreams I remember, here's a weird one. I've been sick for the last four or five days now (the worst is behind me now, and by tomorrow I should be back up to 100%), so maybe this was a fever dream or something.

Perhaps as a result of being a drop out (long story, folks. Maybe I'll tell it sometime), I have dreams about being in school somewhat frequently. One out of, say, ten or 15 dreams I have will be about school to some degree. This also happens to be pretty much the single most random, difficult-to-explain dream I think I've ever had in my entire life.

So I'm in school. I get the feeling it's highschool while I'm there, but in retrospect, college makes much more sense, though really, it's kind of like a blend of the two. I feel very calm and happy at this point. Like, nostalgia. As I walk in, there is a pool to my right. Clear, blue water. My cousin, Matt (who is currently in highschool) is in the pool - fully clothed, with normal clothes on - fishing out golfballs. There are people near the edge of the pool hitting them in.

He sees me walk up, gets out of the pool - changes shirts (oddly I don't see this, he's just magically wearing a different shirt when he gets out of the pool) and wrings his hair out a bit. We start walking - going to class, or something, and on the way there, we pass Marty O' Donnel. You know, the guy who composed the Halo soundtrack. Walking next to him is Toad, from...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2006-12-08 06:00:17 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

After a horrible week (well, more like a horrible two months, but this last week feels like it's been the worst) I feel a bit better. Gametrailers is having a promotion of sorts.

You see, at Gametrailers, you earn GTD for doing things. Watching movies, making blog posts, having other people watch your movies - etc. You can then spend GTD in their store. They have a variety of things to buy; games, consoles, shirts, collectables, etc. Kind of like that Konami All-Stars thing I linked ages ago and the stuff Hardcore Gamer Magazine was doing, except more long-term.

They put up a new item recently. They're going to donate $10,000 in real-world money to the Penny-Arcade Childs Play organization. for 20gtd you can purchase $1 of their $10,000. For every $1 you donate, you get entered into a raffle for an Xbox 360 (the winner will be announced once all $10,000 have been bought with GTD).

I just spent all 1,300gtd I had ($55). I always wanted to donate to Childs Play and now I have. Hooray for doing something good!

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2006-12-06 19:32:39 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

So. You may remember I won $1000 in a contest in... August? With it I bought a PS2, a DS Lite, and eventually, an Xbox 360.

Three weeks after buying my 360, I have been Red Ring of Death'd. For the unaware: Around the power button on the 360 is a "Ring of Light", divided into 4 quadrants. Normally, this ring glows green and it shows you how many wireless controllers it reckognizes.

However, when there is a problem with your 360, this ring flashes red, and depending on the configuration of which quadrants are lit and which aren't, your 360 may or may not be completely screwed.

After a short period of time of games freezing or loading really slowly (Even dashboard demos), eventually I fired off an email to Microsoft tech support. Four days later they responded to me with a listing of generic solutions, most of which I had already tried. However, being that there were a couple I hadn't tried, I booted up my 360 for the first time in 4 days and I was met with...



The Red Ring of Death. And what does this specific configuration mean? Hardware failure.

Roughly three weeks after I had purchased my brand-new Xbox 360 premium console, it failed. These problems were frequent with the first batch of systems passed out at launch - but there was talk that now, because the console...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2006-11-16 05:01:46 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Warning: Spoiler Content!

I've spent about three hours with the new Sonic game. So far? Consensus is: The game blows. Hard. Harder than almost any game I think I've ever played. I almost want my money back. This is $60 that could go towards a much, much better game. And this is coming from the guy who actually derrided some enjoyment from Sonic Heroes. Let's start at the top. I've only played as Sonic so far, up to the end of Crisis City.

Welcome to the City of Soleanna, where they worship the Sun God, Solaris. Why they worship it is kind of a mystery; as apparently, 10 years ago, Solaris visited Soleanna and nearly obliterated the entire planet, engulfing it in the flames of disaster. However, he was fortunately sealed away before any real damage could be done - and so, the citizens pray to the Sun of Soleanna at an altar at the center of the city. Perhaps they expect it protects them from Solaris' wrath?

Enter Dr. Eggman. He's heard that the Princess of Soleanna, Elise, wields a mysterious power, and that she knows the true key to unleashing the flames of disaster. As Eggman moves in to abduct the Princess, true blue Hero Sonic the Hedgehog shows up. After a bout of saving the princess, losing her, and saving her again, she finally falls in to Dr. Eggman's clutches once and for all after newcomer Silver the Hedgehog shows up, yelling at Sonic, declaring him the "Iblis Trigger", and that he...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2006-11-13 06:55:36 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

Technically, today is Monday, November 13th, 2006. Tomorrow holds a bit of importance to me.

Saturday, I picked up my 360. With it, I got Forza Motorsport and Ninja Gaiden. I wanted to get a warrenty with my 360, but the warrenty was $40 - I only expected it to be $15 (perhaps I was naive).

I like the 360. I am happy with my purchase. It seems a little out of character for me, but I honestly purchased my 360 with the intent of replacing my PC for gaming purposes. The 360 is getting ports of most of the games I want to play on the PC, except on the 360 I don't have to worry about what videocard or how much RAM I have. At most, I have to worry about HDD space and if the batteries in my controller are charged up. Even 3-5 years from now, I won't hopefully won't have to worry about what my system specs are with the 360.

As an added bonus, I can also view video off of a disc (or stream it from my PC!) - which is something I was fascinated by, but setting up VCDs and/or DVDs is a long, annoying process that can often take several hours. Not so, with the 360 - a simple, painless conversion to WMV and I'm in business.

Free demos are also a huge, huge bonus for me. No longer do I have to spend $9.99 on a magazine, when really, all I want is the coverdisc.

The only downside to the 360 I can see right now is the fact that it turns only a year old this month, and Next-gen is really pricy - even used games from the...

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Found in: Platformers community

Posted 2006-11-10 23:04:12 at Ryan's BlogEntry at 1Up.com

http://blazefire.mooglecavern.com/Castlevania_demo.zip

5.67mb. Enjoy.

Button 1: Jump
Button 2: Whip
Up Whip: Secodary Item (Dagger, Holy Water, Axe, etc.)
Down, Up Jump: Uppercut Dash
Down Jump: Slide (On the ground)
Down Jump: Flying kick (In the air)
Double Jump: Backflip (at the height of a jump)

Screenshots:

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